Ephesians Chapter 5
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
Just as children imitate their parents, we should imitate God. Forgive as He forgives you (4:32) and love as Christ loves you (5:2).
Jesus did whatever He saw the Father doing. In this way He imitated God. That is how we are called to walk too.
We must always see ourselves as beloved children of God (1 Jn 3:1), the apple of His eye, precious to Him. When we see ourselves in that way then we can easily wish the best for everyone else, and never get jealous when things go better for others. This is the secret of being secure and having good self-esteem.
2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Christ loved us by giving Himself up as a sacrifice. Loving someone will sooner or later involve us to sacrifice something for him or her. If we say we love someone but are not willing to sacrifice anything for him or her then we are deceiving ourselves.
Do you say that you love your wife? What sacrifice have you made for her lately?
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
What is proper and fitting among the saints? It is an attitude of thankfulness to God. If we lose our sense of gratitude to God we can end up in immorality, impurity and greed (Rom 1:21-32). Paul says that these things shouldn’t even be named among the saints.
Silly talk, coarse jesting, sick jokes are not fitting. Jesus said that we will have to give an account of our words in the Day of Judgment (Mt 12:36,37). How is it that we believe the other things that Jesus said, but don’t take these words of His seriously?
5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
No one who practices the things mentioned can have an inheritance in the kingdom of God. It doesn't matter whether you have ‘accepted’ Christ. If you practice those things you are doomed. This goes against the doctrine of eternal security, but fits perfectly well with Heb 10:26-29.
To practice these things means to say, “I know that these things are wrong, but I am going to do them anyway. I have no intention of repenting. I don’t want to stop doing these things.” On the other hand, the person who says, “I really don’t want to do these things but I find myself unable to stop just yet. But I am going to keep trying to stop doing them as long as I am alive. Every time I sin I repent and seek forgiveness” finds forgiveness with God.
In case you find it hard to believe what Paul says in verse 5, Paul reminds you not to be deceived by empty words of others who try to explain away verse 5. Don’t be deceived.
Therefore, we are to not partake with the Gentiles in these things.
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
We are to walk as little lights (children of light) doing good things and right things with good motives. Jesus is the Light (Jn 1:4-5, 9; 8:12; 9:5;12:36), and we are called to be little lights. When people examine our lives they should be able to glorify God (Mt 5:16).
A person who is in the light can be seen clearly. All his deeds can be examined and approved. A person who is in the darkness does things in secret and would be ashamed if a light were to shine on him. When we examine our lives – our thoughts, our actions, our motives – day or night, we should ask, “Could I do this in front of everyone?” That is to bring things in the light.
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
We are commanded to try learn what is pleasing to the Lord. How do we do that?
We do that by reading our Bible carefully, observing where it says that God was pleased with someone, and then taking the time to understand why.
We also do that by experiment – by carefully tracking our own behavior and observing when God makes our life miserable, and trying to understand why.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
We (individually and as a church) are supposed to be the light of the world. When we meet together as a church we should expose sin and bring it out in the light. That is what the prophetic ministry is (1 Cor 14:24,25). If that is missing, the church will die. When looking for a church we should select a church based on this.
14 For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
If we are doing deeds of the darkness it is time to get out of it (Rom 13:11-14; 1 Thess 5:5; 1 Pet 2:9-10).
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
We are urged to be careful how we walk. This is one aspect of wisdom. If we are seeking to be wise we need to pay heed to this.
We are told to walk in a way so as to make the most of our time since the days are evil. To make the most of our time we need to understand what God wants us to do, and to do that. And further, we should not do it in our own strength but in the power of the Holy Spirit. For that, we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
We should also make the most of our time with unbelievers, taking every opportunity to witness to them (Col 4:5,6).
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
When we are filled with the Spirit we will be edifying one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. We should do this with wisdom (knowing what to say to whom) and only when the word of Christ dwells in us richly (Col 3:16).
When we are filled with the Spirit we will also be singing thanks to God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Verse 20 is a beautiful picture of our interaction with God. The Holy Spirit leads us to thank the Father in the name of the Son.
Another aspect of being filled with the Spirit is being able to be subject to one another in the church out of reverence for Christ. We should be willing to please our brothers and sisters in Christ because they belong to Christ – just as you would treat a king’s son with respect because he is the king’s son.
Some teach that verse 21 teaches that a husband must also submit to his wife! However, verse 21 is not tied with verse 22 (as some teach) but with verse 19 and 20. Why do I say that? I say that because of the ‘and’ that begins verse 21.
Further, if a wife must submit to her husband and a husband must submit to his wife then who makes the final decision? With no clear leader in the home there will be a lot of confusion.
1 Cor 11:10 teaches that a woman must have a symbol of authority on her head while praying or prophesying. If a man were required to submit to a woman then he too should have a symbol of authority on his head, but that’s not taught in the Bible.
On the other hand, in the church, while all members submit to the elders, submitting to one another makes perfect sense among the members. For example, if a couple of brothers are going out for dinner, and each one wants to go to a different place, there should be a willingness among the brothers to go to the place favored by the other brother.
Neither the Father nor the Son nor the Spirit likes to see brothers fighting. Therefore, to please God, a brother (or sister) in the church should be willing to allow the other brother (or sister) to have his way in such things, to please God. That’s why the verse says that we should submit to each other in the fear of Christ – i.e. to refrain from doing anything displeasing to Christ.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
A wife is to be subject to her husband. To be subject to somebody means to do what that person says. A wife should seek her husband for advice and direction.
It is difficult to be subject to someone you do not respect. Single women should keep that in mind when choosing a husband. They should seek to marry someone who is more spiritual than them, someone in whom they have confidence and feel comfortable to go to for advice and direction.
Further, a wife is to be subject to her own husband, not somebody else’s! If your husband is not as spiritual as another brother, even then you shouldn’t be asking that other brother for advice. You should ask your own husband, and if he desires let him ask that other brother for advice.
When Paul wrote to Timothy, who was in Ephesus (1 Tm 2:11,12) around the same time that he wrote to the Ephesians, he reminded Timothy to instruct the church that women should quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness, and that they should not exercise authority over a man. This perhaps indicates that the church in Ephesus had some dominant women who tried to assert authority over men. When we are leaders in a church that has such women we need to keep in mind what the Holy Spirit wrote through Paul and be faithful to teach these words.
A wife should be subject to her husband, as to the Lord. A wife should realize that the way she treats her husband is considered by the Lord as her treatment of Him. A wife who speaks disrespectfully to her husband or puts him down or frustrates his plans or finds faults with him or nags him is really doing that to the Lord. A woman who fears God will also treat her husband with much respect. The Lord asks her to see to it that she respect her husband (Eph 5:33).
A wife should respect her husband and be subject to him even when he is unreasonable (1 Pet 2:18-3:6). The exception is when the husband asks them to do something that is contrary to God’s Word – in that case she should obey God (Ac 4:19). Also, a wife does not have to let herself be abused by her husband – in such a situation she should escape to safety (Jn 8:59, 10:39).
Paul gives two pictures to describe a wife’s submission to her husband: the church submitting to Christ, and the body submitting to the head. The church is subject to Christ in everything. As Christ says, so the church must do. In the same way (that is, in everything) a wife must be subject to her husband. Further, just as a normal human body does what the head tells it to, in the same way a wife must do what the husband tells the wife to do.
This is what the Bible says. So if you don’t agree with what it says then take your argument up with its author, who is God – don’t waste your time arguing with me.
How does a wife do this difficult thing? The key things to remember is that God is in control at all times, and that He knows what your situation is, and that He answers prayers. Knowing these things we can joyfully submit to unreasonable people while praying for God to change them and us for His glory.
Let me tell you a secret: if a woman is wise she will let God choose her husband for her. And further, if a woman is godly and submits to her husband as God requires it, the outcome will be that she will find the secret of walking with God.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Husbands are to love their wives the way Christ loves the church.
How did Christ love the church? He saw its need for salvation, and did what it took to meet that need even though it meant great sacrifice for Him. He wanted the best for the spiritual welfare of the church and took pains to make it available.
In the same way, husbands must understand their wife’s (spiritual and other) needs and must do whatever it takes, even sacrificing their own ambitions and comfort in order to ensure that their wife’s needs are met. Note that husbands are not required to meet their wife’s wants – just their needs. However, just has Christ has blessed us beyond our minimal needs, husbands should also aim to bless their wives in the spirit of generosity when possible.
To love a person we have to be patient, kind, etc. (1 Cor 13:4-7).
Love covers a multitude of sins (Pr 10:12; 1 Pet 4:8). When we live with our wife we are able to see all her faults and weaknesses. We see her sin many times. Our love should cover (or look over) all her sins and accept her as she is without getting irritated with her. This is especially important if your wife is less clever than you are.
Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up (1 Cor 8:1). When we deal with our wives we should deal with love rather than showing off our knowledge. If we lack knowledge we should deal gently with her and not impatiently. Treat her like a fragile flower.
Our wives are a part of us, and if we love them we are really loving ourselves.
The word used for ‘nourish’ means ‘bring up to maturity’ and the word used for ‘cherish’ means ‘to tenderly care for’. So the meaning implied in verse 29 is that of tenderly caring for a delicate plant while bringing it up to maturity. The opposite of this would be to neglect to bring up your wife to maturity, or to be forceful and brash while bringing up your wife to maturity, destroying her in the process. One aspect of loving your wife as Christ loved the church involves bringing her to spiritual maturity with great gentleness.
In verse 30 and 32 we see that we are members of Christ’s (physical) body. We are ‘one flesh’ with Him. It must be a physical body because Paul uses the term ‘one flesh’. This is a great mystery. We cannot understand it, but we accept it as a fact.
In order to really love our wife as Christ loves the church we must leave our father and mother and cleave to our wife. The sense of the word ‘leave’ is ‘to abandon, to forsake, to withdrawn from’. The sense of the word ‘cleave’ is ‘cling to, closely pursue, stick to, stay close to’.
In verse 26 we see that we are cleansed of our sins by the washing of water (i.e. the Holy Spirit) and the Word (i.e. Christ). The washing of water is not referring to water baptism because 1 Pet 3:21 tells us that water baptism does not remove dirt (sin) from the flesh.
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