1 Corinthians 7
Instead of visiting prostitutes it is better to get married.
1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband {does;} and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife {does.}
5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The Corinthians asked Paul a bunch of questions, and so Paul continues answering their questions.
They had questions about marriage: should a person get married at all? What if a person became a believer after getting married? What if their spouse didn’t become a believer when they did? And so on.
Paul’s position is this: it is better to not get married – if you can remain unmarried without losing control of your sex drive or need for companionship. If you can’t control your sex drive or need for companionship then you should get married.
Marriage is a one-man-one-woman thing - each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
Your spouse has authority over your body. It works both ways. The husband gets to use the wife’s body for his pleasure even if she is not in the mood. And the husband must pay attention to his wife even if he is not in the mood.
It is a sin to deprive your spouse of your body (when there are no valid spiritual and health reasons to do so). By the way, fake headaches are not valid health reasons.
When you deprive your spouse you are an instrument of Satan.
6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command.
7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.
9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn {with passion.}
Paul looks at marriage as a concession. He desires that we have undistracted devotion to the Lord if we can remain unmarried without losing control.
10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such {cases,} but God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
According to the Lord, a believing wife should not leave her believing husband, and a believing husband should not leave his believing wife. If a believing wife desires to leave her husband then she should remain unmarried (as long as he is alive). But if she can’t live without a man then she should be reconciled to her husband.
According to Paul, if a person becomes a believer after getting married they should not leave their unbelieving spouse. This is because you can be a good influence on your spouse and perhaps be instrumental in changing your spouse’s heart, as well as your children’s heart. But if the unbelieving spouse wants to leave then the believer should not force the spouse to stay – because you can’t be sure that you will lead them to Christ.
Notice how Paul was able to distinguish between what he thought and what God said to him. And he was humble enough to admit it when he had no clear indication from God on a topic.
17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.
18 Was any man called {when he was already} circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but {what matters is} the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.
21 Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that.
22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord's freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ's slave.
23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.
24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that {condition} in which he was called.
The general principle is that you don’t have to change your condition (married or single, slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised) when you become a believer.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.
26 I think then that this is good, in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none;
30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess;
31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
If you are unmarried, Paul thinks that it is better to stay that way. But it is not a commandment to stay single.
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;
33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
34 and {his interests} are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and {to secure} undistracted devotion to the Lord.
The reason why you should remain unmarried is so that you can serve the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin {daughter,} if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.
37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin {daughter,} he will do well.
38 So then both he who gives his own virgin {daughter} in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
Notice how child marriage is not allowed, since Paul expects a woman to be past her youth before getting married.
Notice also that the expectation is that a woman be a virgin before marriage.
Notice also how a father is to decide and give the woman in marriage.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
For a woman, marriage is for a lifetime.
And once her spouse dies she can marry again – it can be anyone she desires (nobody can force her to marry someone), but it must be to a believer.
40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.
Paul doesn’t recommend marriage for those who can control their need for sex or companionship, and he thinks that God feels the same way too.
This is the only place in Scripture that I know of where the human author acknowledges that what he says may not be inspired. Yet, that acknowledgment itself is inspired. Why did God allow it to be this way?
To summarize, Paul’s broader point is this: you only have a short time to live, may be eighty good years. The wisest thing to do is to use as much of those years as you can for God. Don’t waste them watching TV, or going places, or on things that are not valuable from the eternal perspective.
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