1 Peter 3
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
The Bible is very clear here – a wife is to be submissive to their husband. This applies to all cultures and all times, and also when the wife doesn’t agree with the husband, and even when he is living in disobedience to God’s word. She may respectfully voice her disagreement with his decision, but then she must commit to abiding by his decision.
The only exception is when the husband is physically harming or exploiting the wife, or if he is asking her to disobey God’s word.
3 Your adornment must not be {merely} external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but {let it be} the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
In verse three, the word ‘merely’ is in brackets because it is added by the translators and not present in the original Greek.
A Christian wife doesn’t focus on external beauty, but on exhibiting a gentle and quiet spirit. A gentle spirit is one that doesn’t force another person to be the person that they think the person should be i.e. don’t try to force your husband the person you want him to be. A quiet spirit is one that is not discontent. These two qualities are precious in God’s eyes.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
A wife doesn’t have to be frightened concerning God’s command to be submissive. Sarah was submissive to Abraham even when he told her to pretend to be his sister, and the king took her away for himself (Gen 12:9-20). God dealt with that situation, didn’t He? Won’t He do the same for you if you hope in God?
7 You husbands in the same way, live with {your wives} in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Peter just told the wives to submit to their husbands. One might think that this will allow the husbands to mistreat or take advantage of their wives. But God is not blind or powerless – He knows how to keep the husbands in check. All things are possible if you believe, and blessed are you if you believe this!
One way that God deals with unruly husbands is that he stops answering their prayers. That is what Peter explains here. Specifically, Peter tells us that if we don’t live with our wife in an understanding way then it will hinder our prayers. That is, God will refuse to hear us.
What does it mean to ‘live with your wife in an understanding way’? There are two aspects to this…
The first aspect of living with your wife in an understanding way is to understand that generally she is weaker, both physically and emotionally. That means she will get tired before you, and she will not be able to do as much ‘heavy lifting’ as you, and that events around her will have a greater effect on her than on you. You have to make allowance for that, and you have to not scoff or mock her for that; nor should you despise her or assume that you are superior to her because of that.
Further, how merciful are you towards your wife? Since you are in charge of the household you can easily mistreat her and get away with it – or so you think. Further, you can choose to deal strictly or mercifully with your wife when she messes up and comes short of your standard. Maybe you are always on time and she is not, or maybe you have a sharp mind and she does not, or you are a good driver and she is not – it is easy to put her down on these things, but what will God think of you if you do that?
If you are merciful to her when she errors or comes short of you high standard then God will be merciful to you and overlook your issues when you come before him. But if you are constantly belittling her and putting her down because of her weaknesses and reminding her of them then God will be quite strict with you too, and will expect a rather high standard of perfection from you, and will not hear your prayers unless you exhibit that high standard. And you know how high God’s standard is. So then, the wisest course of action for you is to deal justly and mercifully with your wife.
The second aspect of this is concerning helping your wife to get things done around the house. If you expect God to help you – or give you grace – in your life, then you must help your wife, and give her grace / help, in her life. Specifically, if there are things that she can’t do for herself, and depends on you for then you should do those things for her without resorting to blackmail to force her to do ‘things’ for you. This is how you treat her with respect, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
10 For, "THE ONE WHO DESIRES LIFE, TO LOVE AND SEE GOOD DAYS, MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM SPEAKING DECEIT.
11 "HE MUST TURN AWAY FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD; HE MUST SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT.
12 "FOR THE EYES OF THE LORD ARE TOWARD THE RIGHTEOUS, AND HIS EARS ATTEND TO THEIR PRAYER, BUT THE FACE OF THE LORD IS AGAINST THOSE WHO DO EVIL."
A Christian must be like a light to those around him, and easy to live with – harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted and humble in spirit
An harmonious person who someone who generally goes along with the plan even if it not exactly what he would choose. He is willing to given in rather than fight for his way or his right. There may be times that one needs to stand up for what one wants, but those should not be the general or typical pattern of behavior a harmonious person will exhibit.
A sympathetic person is one who has concern for how someone feels, and modifies his behavior to adjust to the other person’s feeling. For example, if someone is feeling sad, you don’t exude happiness and blurt out how wonderful life is for you right now.
A brotherly person is one who is willing to help the other person in their time of need.
Another reason why God doesn’t answer a man’s prayers is because the man is doing evil things like returning evil for evil or insult for insult, or speaking deceit, or not seeking peace.
13 Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED,
15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always {being} ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;
16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
Peter continues to point out that a Christian must be willing suffer unjustly while doing good to others. This will cause them to wonder why we are like that, and when they ask why, then we must also be ready to tell them about our faith in Christ, remembering to do it with gentleness and reverence. Gentleness means that we should never force anyone to believe what we believe. Reverence means that we must speak to them with respect, and not as if we know it all and are superior to them.
18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, {the} just for {the} unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
Peter tells us that Christ died once for all the sins of all of the unjust, not merely for those who are chosen, as the Calvinists teach in their doctrine of Limited Atonement.
19 in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits {now} in prison,
20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through {the} water.
In Genesis 6 we read about how some of the sons of God (these include the angels, and others directly created by God) married women. This presented a problem to God because their children were not fully human, and couldn’t be saved by Christ, for Christ’s atonement would only be applicable to those who were fully human. As a result, God had no choice but to wipe out all of humanity – which He did via the flood; only Noah and his family were saved.
The fallen angels who were responsible for this were imprisoned by God so that they wouldn’t repeat their terrible misdeed. When Jesus died and descended into the earth He told these fallen angels about the salvation of mankind that He had achieved. I suppose He explained to them why they were imprisoned. God didn’t explain His plan of salvation to anyone before as it was top secret until it was fully accomplished.
God would have liked to wipe out humanity as soon as these angels corrupted mankind but He had to patiently wait until Noah completed the ark, which took a long time.
21 Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you – not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience – through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
22 who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.
The flood is a picture of water baptism. In one sense, the flood saved mankind, for if there was no flood to destroy those who were not fully human, the over the years all of humanity would have been corrupted and Jesus’s atonement would not be applicable to anyone.
Baptism doesn’t pay for our sins i.e. it doesn’t remove dirt (i.e. sin) from the flesh. But it is the way we tell God that we want to be saved, not just from the penalty of sin, but also from its power i.e. it is an appeal to God for a good conscience (i.e. a conscience that doesn’t convict us of sin because we have learnt to suffer in the flesh and overcome sin).
To come to a point where we can overcome sin we first have to believe that such a thing is possible. How do we come to that belief? We do so because we see that Jesus emptied Himself of that which made Him equal to God, and became a man just like us, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, He didn’t sin even once. How do we know that He didn’t sin even once? We know because God raised Him from the dead. If Jesus had sinned even once then God wouldn’t have raised Him from the dead. We have the same Holy Spirit dwelling in us, and the power that the Holy Spirit made available to Jesus for overcoming sin is also available to us. When we get baptized, we are telling God that we are willing to suffer in our flesh to overcome sin just like how Jesus did.
We can now see how the next passage flows with the end of 1 Peter 3.
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