Proverbs 12

1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.

How do I know if I love to know the truth? One way is to examine whether I force myself to do something the right way even if I don’t like to do it like that.

What happens when I am doing something the wrong way, and someone comes and instructs me in the correct way to do it?

I remember once, our department had an outing at a bowling place. I hardly ever bowl, but I took this opportunity to learn. While I was trying to bowl, one of my colleagues approached me, in front of the entire department, and began to instruct me on what I was doing wrong and how I should fix my technique. I was being reproofed in public, and that embarrassed me. But I swallowed my pride and listened to him and my bowling improved. I’ve had people reproof me, and sometimes in public, many times. I’ve learned to love it, and I am grateful to them for doing so.

Reproof is correction. When your parent or husband or boss tells you not to do something, or not to do something in a certain way, they are reproving you.

Our flesh hates reproof. We automatically resent it because we don’t like to be told what to do, or to be told that we are doing things the wrong way. That is, we are naturally stupid. We are like that because we want to look good in front of others.

However, if you love to do what is right, and love to do it the best way possible, then you will accept reproof, even if it is in public. Your desire to excel will supersede your desire to look good.

2 A good man will obtain favor from the LORD, but He will condemn a man who devises evil.

Favor is an attitude of wishing the best for you and wanting to help you succeed. Favor from the Lord is a very valuable thing.

The opposite (sort-of) of favor is condemnation. Condemnation is an attitude of disapproval and finding fault.

If you seek the best for others, God looks at you favorably. On the other hand, if you seek the worst for others, God doesn’t like you.

3 A man will not be established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will not be moved.

To be established means to have a sense of security in life. Your relationship with God is good. Your finances are strong, your health is strong, your mind is at peace, and your family is doing well. You are strongly rooted, and no one can easily displace you.

What’s your attitude in life? Do you try to pull others down so that you can rise up? Do you try to mess with others so that they stumble and thereby cause you to go ahead of them? Such a strategy is wicked, and this verse says that you will not be established. Further, this verse also says that such a strategy will not mess up the righteous.

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

There are many aspects to an excellent wife. One of them is that she doesn’t shame him. That is, even though she knows his many faults, she never mentions them to anyone, even her closest confidant or her best friend – even at a time when you and she may be struggling about some disagreement.

If you have such a wife, you should treasure her, because she is like a crown on your head – something that people will notice, and realize that you are a very fortunate man.

If you think that you are an excellent wife, ask yourself how you measure against this standard.

If you want to become an excellent wife, make it your practice to never tell anyone any of your husband’s many faults.

5 The thoughts of the righteous are just, but the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

The book of Proverbs paints a picture of a righteous man and a wicked man. There are many aspects of righteousness and wickedness. Here is another way to examine whether you are righteous or wicked.

If someone comes to you for advice, and you know you can give them good advice, but you don’t, at the same time pretending that you did, then you are wicked in this aspect.

Further, if you always seek to treat people fairly, and not take advantage of anyone, even when you know that you can get away with it if you do, then you have fulfilled one aspect of righteousness.

6 The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright will deliver them.

What’s your conversation with people like? Are you the type of person who pounces on a person as soon as you find a loophole in what they say? That’s like ‘waiting for blood’.

On the flip side, if someone is waiting for your blood, they’ll find it hard to draw your blood if you are a straightforward person who doesn’t deceive or lie.

7 The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous will stand.

Right now, all over the world, the wicked grab that which belongs to the righteous, and they think that they and do that and get away with it. But there will come a day – the Day of Judgment – when the Lord will fix all this, and overthrow the wicked and return to the righteous what belongs to him. So don’t be troubled when you see the wicked take advantage of you; leave things in God’s hands, as He is well able to deal with the wicked.

8 A man will be praised according to his insight, but one of perverse mind will be despised.

If you can see things better than others, and you share what you see, people will praise you. On the flip side, if you talk nonsense on any subject, people will despise you. People value those who bring value to them. So seek to become someone who delivers value to others.

9 Better is he who is lightly esteemed and has a servant than he who honors himself and lacks bread.

We have a tendency to desire to look good in the eyes of the others. Unfortunately, that is a big trap, because it causes us to make bad decisions, and do things that are not strategically sensible.

If you buy a big home that you can’t really afford, your drive an expensive car that you can’t afford, you are an example of someone who ‘honors himself and lacks bread’. You think that people will think highly of you, but in reality, they will be jealous of you and pull you down.

10 A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, but even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.

Righteousness doesn’t merely extend to people, but also to animals.

11 He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, but he who pursues worthless things lacks sense.

To make money you have to work hard. People who try to make money without working hard are not sensible. When you try to pile on to another person who is working hard for their money and expect them to share their earnings you are deluding yourself.

12 The wicked man desires the booty of evil men, but the root of the righteous yields fruit.

What do you do when you see someone else making easy money by taking advantage of others? Do you want a piece of that, or do you refuse to do what they are doing? A wicked man doesn’t want to work for his money but is attracted to the easy money that other evil people take from others.

When you earn money righteously you will see that money and be able to use it.

13 An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will escape from trouble.

14 A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, and the deeds of a man's hands will return to him.

In any given day, we say so many things to so many different people. Our words reflect our thoughts and our perceptions of other people. They can be a blessing to us, or they can land us into trouble. Sometimes, you can say something to your boss or boss’ boss, and it comes out wrong and it changes their perception of you, and brings you down in their eyes.

Do you examine the words that you speak? It is difficult to speak in a way that doesn’t land you into trouble.

To speak well, you need to think and do well – like a righteous person.

15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

We all have blind spots, but we don’t realize it, and we often don’t know what they are. Not acknowledging that we have blind spots is foolish. One key aspect of wisdom is to realize that we have blind spots. When we realize that, we also realize that we need other discerning people, who can see our blind spots and who can point them out to us in a way that we will accept.

16 A fool's anger is known at once, but a prudent man conceals dishonor.

When someone – particularly someone in your home, and under your authority – does something to anger you, what is your reaction? Do you lash out immediately, or do you take time to understand your anger, determine its root cause, and then determine whether it is valid, and if it is valid, determine how to communicate it so that your communication will result in the good of all?

A wise man is a prudent man. To be prudent means to give thought to your actions instead of acting on impulse. To be prudent you must realize that because you have a flesh, the impulses you feel are not typically sensible. As a result, you train yourself to process those impulses, and channel them appropriately so that your resulting behavior solves the problem rather than just expresses frustration about the problem.

17 He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness, deceit.

When you observe people, note whether they always speak truthfully, or whether they sometimes lie. If they typically tell what is right then you know that they are truthful. On the flip side, if you see them deceiving others, then you know that they will also do the same to you.

18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Realize that your words are like tools, and that you have to learn to use those tools well. People who don’t realize this are like people who go about brandishing swords and knives negligently. They are dangerous and they get put down.

Realize also that people have all kinds of issues and hurts. Be observant, and find out what they are, and use your words to heal them. That is a great ministry to have.

19 Truthful lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only for a moment.

When you tell a lie, it might get you out of trouble in the immediate situation, but it does a deeper, unseen damage to you spiritually. Continual lying causes extensive damage – think of a building that forms crack after crack each time you lie, and ultimately, the entire building comes down crashing. In contrast, a truthful person is like a building that stands forever.

20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but counselors of peace have joy.

When you talk to people who have a problem with someone, do you tell them what to do to attack the other person, or do you tell them what to do to bring peace between the two parties? If you do the latter, then it will bring you joy. If you try to separate them further while trying to appear as if you are bringing them together then you are a deceitful person, and God hates such people.

21 No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked are filled with trouble.

22 Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.

An abomination is something that is disgusting, something that is hated. The Lord hates lying; He finds it disgusting. For this reason, we should take lying seriously, and make it our priority to tell the truth, or remain silent.

A person who deals faithfully is a person who does what he says. If you want to please God, be careful about what you commit to, and do what you say you will do. God is faithful – He does what He says He will do – and He is pleased when He sees that you are faithful too.

23 A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly.

As we saw above, it is very important to tell the truth. However, in this verse we see that there are times when we have to conceal knowledge. That is, we don’t have to share everything we know just because someone asks us about it. Only a foolish person blurts out everything to anyone who asks.

For example, if you know the weaknesses of your spouse or children, and someone asks you how your spouse and children are doing, you don’t have to tell them about the issues you have with your spouse and children.

The amount of information you share with someone depends on their need to know, and their motive for asking. You have to protect your interests, and the interests of those around you. Therefore, if someone casually asks about your family, you give a general answer that is truthful but also sufficiently ambiguous.

24 The hand of the diligent will rule, but the slack hand will be put to forced labor.

A diligent person is one who gets the job done, and does a good job of it.

If you are in a position who gets to choose who should be in charge, remember this: the person is charge should be the person who knows and does the most and the best – and that is the diligent person.

People who don’t do a good job should be micromanaged – to ensure that the learn how to do the job correctly, and then do it correctly.

25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

If you are managing people at home or at work or in the church, you should learn to detect if something is weighing them down. If they are anxious about something then they won’t be able to focus on their work.

How can you help? See what you can do to take their anxiety away. Sometimes, just a word of encouragement or empathy or a gesture of kindness will do wonders.

It is a skill of great value to detect what weighs a person down, and then say or do something to raise them up. Nothing breeds favor and loyalty better than solving a problem for a fellowman.

If your neighbor (or even your enemy) has a problem, solve it for him, or help him solve it. It will not go unnoticed. Which leads us to the next verse…

26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Be a helpful person to your neighbor. Note what you are strong in, and what they are weak in, and find an opportunity to bless them if

27 A lazy man does not roast his prey, but the precious possession of a man is diligence.

There is a right way to do things, and there are shortcuts. A diligent man doesn’t like to use shortcuts when they compromise the quality of a job that needs to be done with high quality.

What kind of person are you? Are you satisfied with a shoddy job, or do you insist that whatever you do, you will do well?

If you have children, do you teach them (early on in life) to do a good job, and to value a high quality job?

28 In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.

Life has many paths. Some of them lead to life, and many lead to death. The paths that lead to death can ruin you, cripple your happiness, and destroy your future.

So many men and women get bogged down with smoking, drinking and drug addictions. These are examples of paths that lead to death. Paths of crime lead to death. Every bad habit is a path of death. Things that waste your time and accomplish nothing are paths of death. When you spend too much time on social media, or too much time arguing or debating irrelevant topics, you can be on a path of death. When you neglect your family to focus on your career you are on the path of death.

How does one stay on the paths that leads to life, and avoid the paths that lead to death? This verse has the answer – consistently do what’s right in God’s eyes and you will always be on the path of life.