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Choose your spouse carefully

Life is a bunch of choices. This is because our choice often determines the quality of our lives.

However, there are many things that we don’t get to choose. For example, we can’t choose our grandparents, our parents, our siblings, our children, our cousins, our nephews and nieces, or our grandchildren. Of all our family, the only person we can indeed choose is our spouse.

At some point, most of us must choose our spouse. This choice should not be made lightly. After all, you are choosing the person with whom you will be sharing most of your life, and most of your resources. Given that you have only one life, this is indeed a very critical decision.

Since choosing a spouse is such a critical decision, it is good to ponder on how to choose wisely. There are many ways that people go about this choice…

Some people tie themselves to the first person who shows them a modicum of attention.

Some base their decision solely on looks.

Some marry a person because they came from a reputable family.

Some choose their spouse because he or she is wealthy.

Some are attracted to a person’s intelligence or wit or personality and marry for those reasons.

Each of the above methods has their advantages and disadvantages, but they all have one fatal flaw. This flaw is that the decision is made by a person who cannot see into the future.

To choose wisely, you have to know not only what the person is now, but also what the person will be down the road. And it is not even possible to thoroughly know who a person really is even if you stay with him or her.

For this reason, it seems to me that the best way to go about choosing a spouse is to let God choose for you! He knows every person’s heart, and He knows what every person will be down the road. If you have truly love God, and let Him choose for you He will not fail you.

Choosing your spouse is one of the areas where the rubber really meets the road regarding what you really believe about God. After all, if you really believe that God exists, and that He is all wise, and that He knows the future, and that He cares for you, why wouldn’t you let Him choose for you?

If you do see the wisdom in what I am saying, and you allow God to choose for you, don’t put any conditions. For example, don’t say, "Please choose an intelligent spouse," or "Please let my spouse look attractive," and so on. God is not dumb, and He knows and understands what is appropriate for us.

When I was a young man, I let God choose for me, and I have been married for nearly twenty years now, and I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am that I let God choose for me. Not only did my marriage turn out okay, but even my children turned out okay!

You see, you may choose your spouse with all the wisdom you have, but how do you know what kind of children you will have if you get married to a particular person? What if you marry a great person but when your genes combine with that of the person you chose, the result is disastrous?

If you let God choose, then you don’t have to be afraid that someone else will steal your spouse before you marry. God knows how to protect each of you for each other.

One final thing…if you let God choose for you, know that He will test you before He gives you His choice for you. He will give you a chance to marry others who are not His choice, and you will know clearly that they are not His choice (for example, they will be unbelievers). He will close all other doors and present the wrong choice to you and see whether you will take it.

If you take the choice that is clearly wrong then you have failed the test.

On the other hand, if you heed His revealed word, and refuse to choose what you know from His word to be wrong then He will make sure that you marry His choice for you.

One thing is for sure – no one who lets God choose for them ends up as a loser.

Copyright (c) 2007-2026, Rosario (Ross) D'Souza. All Rights Reserved
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